There's a Fine, Fine Line

between sexual harassment in the workplace and "cultural differences."

Have you ever had a rumor spread about you at work? About completely nonexistent relations? With more than one person?

I felt so disgusted. Sure, men and women are not normally friends here, and so culturally it may seem scandalous that I speak with and joke around with the Australians and the Canadian. I'm more than careful to not get too close, not touch. But good gosh! It is things like this that make it difficult to empathize with some of these colleagues. You come to a developing country to try to help, to do good, with the intention of being on the same level as those you work with and those you help. I always go into a new culture with the goal of conforming to their mores and conventions, hoping to be accepted into that culture. However, when something like this happens, you have to think that you are not one of these people, that you are different from them, more mature in some way. You think this not because of some American superiority complex, but simply a self-defense mechanism. If I were truly one of them, I would have to care about what was said about me, I would have to be bothered. And I don't want to be.

Mostofa was appalled when I spoke to him about it. I told him I was shocked but am fine now, people can think what they want, but I just want to know that he understands the truth because we are working so closely. He said of course he understood and pressed me on who it was that spread the rumors. I didn't know for sure--the comments weren't made to me, after all--and really, we've all been in middle school...you just have to ride these things out. I was relieved and thankful at his reaction, and I imagine that it is only a small part of my colleagues who believe or suspect the rumor to be true. Zaman (the hospital chairman who has lived in the UK for many years) would certainly find it ridiculous and disturbing, I'd like to see what he says about it when he returns.

In hindsight, the situation is kind of amusing because of a simple truth about the Australians...but that truth is completely out of question in this society.


(With respect to the title: I think it's a big fat honking line, no excuses. But that is a great song from a great musical. David and I were singing it today on the way to cha and moglai. Fantastic times!)