"Oh, gosh, you're going to go into management consulting..."

There is an interesting work hierarchy here. I expected it to be kind of like Chile, where my supervisor guides me in what to do and allows me to be creative, take charge of a project, etc. but ultimately is there to answer my questions and guide me. More and more, though, I’m seeing that is not the case. In many ways, I am my own supervisor. The new directions and path I’m following here I’ve carved for myself—my supervisor’s recommendation was to send me to Pabna for the rest of my two and a half months here because “there’s nothing to do in Dhaka.” But in Dhaka, in project evaluation, is where the project needs me and that is obvious to Dick and to me. I begged to differ with the Pabna decision, and we’ll see what the chairman says on Saturday. I don’t feel like they know what’s best for me, though, or what’s best for the project at this point. A couple of people have told me: here, they teach people to obey and do as the superior says, not think and question for themselves. While I don’t think that’s entirely true—there are so many Bangladeshis that doesn’t apply to—that dynamic of status-quo, do as they tell me to, is so painfully true here at DCH.

Hopefully my fresh perspective will cause them to make some changes and see some gaps. In this sense, I feel kind of like an independent consultant hired to 1) learn about the project, 2) do my own research for how to address gaps, and 3) give recommendations for how to improve. However, that necessitates they accept I have authority. While they do know I have expertise and I bear the great seal of Harvard (whatever the hell that means), they still see themselves somewhat as the supervisors, the ones who know best. Mostofa to a much lesser extent, but when I talk with many others, that is really the sense I get.

And that is massively frustrating, because more and more I’m seeing that they don’t understand the gaps of the project, they don’t understand their own rationale for simple decisions (their reasoning is that’s just the way it’s done and “we say so”), blindly believe their own instructions are being followed in the field when they aren’t, and can’t give answers to simple questions for how the project works. They blame it on our language communication barrier sometimes, but I’ve been here long enough to tell what is a misunderstanding of language and what is not.

Being here, though, makes me think that I would love to do this kind of work, with people who operate in the same cultural context, on the same fast-paced level I’m used to. Beth and MaryCatherine always joked when I made an excel… “Oh, gosh, you’re going to go into management consulting...” Maybe I will. This kind of working to improve organizational structure, improve efficiency, cut costs… I really love it all. I’m trying to love the barriers (the many many barriers) that come with trying to do it all here in Bangladesh—but what a dream it would be to do this kind of work at three times the speed, with smoothness…and with better food.